𝕨𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕀 𝕨𝕒𝕟𝕥, 𝕨𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕀 𝕕𝕖𝕤𝕚𝕣𝕖

Es chistos, hasta tragicómico, pensar que los primeros días no lloraba, y ahora, dos meses, después no paro de hacerlo

 Aunque me encante echarte la culpa de todo, tu falta de cariño no fue solo tu culpa;  la culpa fue mía porque la dejé pasar, porque permití que me hicieras ver como que me estaba pasando rollos, que le ponía color, que era muy intensa. La culpa también fue mía por no defenderme. No quiero que pase nunca más

 Somehow I've got a lot to say, 1 hour isn't enough I'm fucked up, don't I?  When will this pain pass?          Just between us,           did the love affair maim you too?  I really ask that question to myself What did you do to me? What did I do to myself?  1 hour isn't enough seeing you twice a year wasn't enought kissing you wasn't enough I wanted more but you didn't want me. You couldn't say you loved me I did, many times but you left me there waiting filling those pieces of silence for you. You loved to talk but not to me. You were proud of being honest but you couldn't be honest with me; only with the rest but me. It hurt, you know?  knowing my words weren't important for you knowing what I said wasn't real was because of love,  of emotions, of feelings,  because you couldn't trust feelings,  and that was me.  Were they too warm for your heart?  Who did hurt you so much? I tho...

 You replied. Tt was in the middle of the afternoon after thinking you weren't going to do it in the end. I had waited all that week for your long message, it never came, I gave up but you sorprised me.  I was in shock. Two days later here I am, feeling it all, listening to All Too Well as it was written for me and you. All the sad songs are for me. Taylor and Adele wrote for me, TVXQ sang Love in the Ice and Doushite kimi wa suki ni natte shimattandarou? for me.  Will I ever feel better? I'm missing you like hell  Do you miss me too?  Am I the only one suffering, crying and writing silly post on her journal and their blog?  Do you remember it all?  I thanked you for the apologies. I deserve all of them.  You weren't the bad one, we both were. I'm having trouble discovering what I did wrong. Instead of failing you, I did fail myself, for not seeing what you were giving me were crumbles of love. I want it all, you gave me only a part of it. The wor...

I miss the old old days that doesn't mean I don't love you still. I watched our pictures together  all the good and bad times we had  I think I could be stronger  should I be?  Do you want me to be stronger for you?  or is it just me feeling humiliated by you? This is when I remember you didn't tell me you loved me in months... you couldn't answer me. Should I understand you by your state?  or is that too much empathy? You said I broke your heart because I couldn't be your friend, because I used the word "terminamos", but you said you wanted to be my friend and you haven't written me in more than a month. I can be stronger for the both if us, but it's not fair for me, it's not fair for me anymore. I love you, I loved you did you? I miss you I miss the old you the old old you. I want us to be together but we can't, it's too much for the both of us, maybe time wasn't never right a one sided thing I have to remember this, remember this...

 Maybe we weren't romantic soulmates but I do think we could be each other soulmates maybe planotically maybe romantically again in the future I want to be your friend today Hope tomorrow it stays the same

 Tanto que pensé nuestra próxima salida: quizás ir al cine, al parque, pasear a mi perro o simplemente juntarnos a tomar un helado y nunca fue. La última salida fue por teléfono, el día que se cayó la mitad del mundo. 

 Estaba viendo imágenes y apareció una que llamó su atención mientras paseaba y procrastinaba un poco las tareas. Era el dibujo de un primer beso. Una pareja cualquiera, aunque parecía ser una de dos hombres. Es curioso como los primeros besos suelen ocurrir cuando no hay nadie alrededor, y eso es más loco aún cuando estás en una ciudad llena de gente, pero aún así logras encontrar un parque, una plaza, o una escalera para dar ese primer beso entre dos personas. Porque así fue en su caso, en un lugar tan copado como la universidad, los personas se encontraron solas por un par de minutos que quería que durara años.