we say hello with a GOODBYE
“Okay, so, are
meeting here at the same time and in this place by tomorrow night, right?”
“Yep.” Said
Marco, with that smile I loved, and that he knew I loved.
I was actually so
nervous. That was like the first kind of date we were going to have, even though
I didn’t tell him it was a date. You know, I’m such a bad boy.
I woke up that
day waiting for the night to come. It was the longest day ever, I swear God!
But I didn’t realized and it was already 10pm.
11pm.
12am.
1am.
Finally. The time
had come.
If during the
afternoon I was nervous, now I was so fucked up.
“Breath, Jean,
for God’s sake, breath.”
I laid in bed,
and waited, and waited, and waited.
I opened my eyes
and he was there, in front of me saying goodnight with those brown eyes of him.
The date went as
i planned, and as he planned as well. I had no idea he knew what i was going to
do, but he knew. He knows me so well. How much I love him? I didn’t knew until
he took my face, looked at my lips and kissed me. Actually there were many
things I didn’t know, but he did. He was… I don’t know. He’s everything and
that was the sweetest kiss I had ever had the pleasure of having. There were
his lips that were on my own showing me his love.
How much time had
we been like this? Ever since that day, we met every day on my dreams. The
first time was weird as fuck. Like, can you imagine your best friend –until
then- being in your dreams asking you how have you been? I couldn’t. But now I
could not imagine my life without that moment.
I was lost in my
mind, and then I heard his voice saying “it’s ridiculous.”
“What?”
“This. This is
ridiculous, Jean” and a sad smile appeared on his face “It’s ridiculous…”
“Why do you say
that now?”
“Because it is,
but I can’t stop.” I looked at him with a confused expression, but he didn’t
pay attention to my face and went on. “I can’t forget, I can’t forget you, Jean.”
I wanted to hug
him, but I didn’t. I was such an idiot.
His eyes looked
so in pain, but there was nothing I could do. Well, there was one.
“Smile, please--”
“I can’t, Jean,
I’m not even real, like, I’m in your dream, and dreams are not real, so they
aren’t true, and someone can’t live in a lie his entire life… Do you
understand? This just can’t be.”
“You’re wrong. To
me these dreams are real, they are everything I have because you are in them.”
He made a thing
with his mouth similar to a chuckle. He didn’t believe me.
But then he did. Then
he smiled and then he believed me.
“Marco, even
though your smile worries me, when you are with me, I love that smile more than
anything” I started to sing that song we both loved since we were “together”.
I remember how we
discovered it. Well, my sister did it one night and she was super excited and
ask me to listen to it. That night I dreamed with the song and as he was in the
dream he listened to it as well. Then we read the lyrics.
He knew what was
next to the lines I had just sung. “My dates with you began with a good night,
we said goodbye with a good morning” and he was just singing in a lower voice
with me. Then, I said the next lines with all my confidence. “Even if it’s my
own dream, it’s always up to you. If see you tomorrow, then that time I
won’t ever let you go.” He smiled to those words. It was a happy smile.
Our favorite
words.
“I don’t fucking care if it’s just a dream.”
And I never did,
and he never did either.
We were together.
I knew. He knew.
I know.
Even if it’s just
a dream, we say hello with a goodnight.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Enjoy !
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