not fair

why am i crying almost a year later?
it's not fair
i don't get why it hurts the most today
all the broken promises
the wishes and plans
all of that does not exist anymore
and it was only ours

you saying you wanted to marry me

you telling me (or confessing) it was something we could've done if our thing hadn't change in time

it still haunts me

that idea

that we could've signed a piece of paper 

promising so many and much 

our love 

our caring

no one understands it

no one will 

it's even hard for me sometimes

remembering our hands touching

you looking at me

talking to me

worrying about me

do you still want the best for me?

do you believe in me?

i want to see what you saw in me and appreciated it

in order to see

that i deserve(d) to be loved

in this world